recently i seriously fucked up. lost most of my friends and my parents love aswell. cried for 3 hours, forced myself to throw up... im disgusting, im not gonna say what i did i moved from china and into europe, i hated it in china and now im out of it but then i proceed to fuck it all up. now im alone, depressed and completely destroyed. coding in c didnt even work (supposed to be a joke. haha so funny!), i felt like i wanted to end myself days ago. idfk, im not even known by anyone online. i have no friends on the internet, fucking shit. i cant even interact with people anymore. i have no coding ideas either which is my usual escape but no coding idea means no escape from reality.